Horrible Things happen to Dante
by Ouroboros General
Summary: My second fic. the title pretty much sums it up. rated T just to be safe. One shot. READ AND REVIEW! OBEY ME! OBEY ME! OR I SHALL HAUNT YOU FOREVER!


I am writing this to show my pure hatred of Dante so if there are any fans of her out there you have been warned. Also I don't own any of the characters of FMA or Inuyasha.

Horrible things that happen to Dante

In a completely blank area Dante suddenly poofed in.

Dante: Where am I? Is this the gate?

Me: Nope this place doesn't even exist.

Said a disembodied voice from nowhere

Dante: Well I demand that you take me back to my mansion immediately

Me: Ok too bad cause I have a Philosophers stone.

Dante: REALLY ( the witches eyes were sparkling at this) can I have it?

Me: Sure. if you can survive my little game.

Dante: Game?

Me: All you have to do is survive my seven tortures and if you are still sane by the end of them you can have it.

Dante: Sure I can survive any tortures.

Me: Sure you can. Let the games begin!

Dante suddenly appears on the bottom of Mt Everest.

Me: All you have to do is climb it.

Dante: This will be easy Im an expert mountain climber.

Hours later Dante reached the top

Dante: Huff huff ok bring on the next one.

Me: wait for it.

Dante: huh?

Then a giant finger appeared beside Dante and poked her. She then fell off Mt everest.

Dante: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ME: HA HA HA you look like a pancake.

Which she actually did.

Pancake Dante: Owwwwww. Ok are we done and why arent I dead?

Me: OH I cant have you dying on me yet. NUMBER 2!

Dante then appeared near a well in fuedal Japan.

Dante: Now what?

Then Dante was suddenly covered with a white baboon pelt with a sign on it that said KILL ME!

Inuyasha: Over there its Naraku hes finally gone suicidal. LETs get him.

Dante: Wait Im not...

Inuyasha: Wind Scar!

Kagome: Sacred arrow!

And the rest also used their attacks.

Dante tried to use her alchemy to make a shield but I had taken her alchemy skills away.

Dante: Crap

Then Dante was brutally pummeled by the attacks until the pelt finally came off.

Miroku: No wait this isnt Naraku its that bitch who killed Greed in Fullmetal Alchemist.

Would you consider bearing my children?

Dante: WHAT!

Me: Wow thats way better then anything I could have come up with... Enjoy!

And so Miroku went to do perverted things to Dante and noone bothered to stop him not even Sango.

Hours later Dante returned looking like she had been run over by several trucks.

Me: Wow what did he do to you?

Dante: Tied me to the road and watched while about ten trucks ran over me.

Me: YAY! Well the miroku thing counts as three so we have four to go and I think ill do them all at once to save time.

Dante: Philosophers stone philosophers stone philosophers stone.

ME: Begin!

First Dante was sent to an oil field that was having a major leak and someone dropped a match.

Dante: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Then Dante was strapped into an electric chair while having to drink Barrium.

Dante: THE HORROR THE HORROR.

Me: And the last two.

Then Dante was glued to a chair and forced to watch the teletubbies.

Dante: HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE! By now she looked insane.

ME: And now the grand finale.

Dante was then forced to listen to a recording made by different people that said they hate her and wished she was dead.

Me: So you still sane?

Dante I've managed to hold on to a shred of my sanity (she said this while panting between each word) So give me the stone.

Me: ok

I then handed her a rock which was painted red.

Dante: But But this isnt...

Me: I said Id give you A philosophers stone not necessarily a real one.

Dante: But that means...

Me: Yep you just went through all that for nothing.

Dante: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Kill, destroy eat people YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Dante then ran off on a murderous rampage only to be taken down by people in white coats and dragged to the funny farm.

Me: I Love my job.

The end

So did you like? If you did and you also like Inuyasha check out my other story in the Inuyasha section DEMONS AND HOMUNCULI DON'T MIX! And like I said before I don't wanna hear anything bad from Dante fans.


End file.
